Yet another encounter with white fragility--does it ever end?

First of all, if you don't know what white fragility is, here is a short lesson.  Please watch, otherwise, you really won't understand this blog post.

I have spoken for many years about how I've encountered white fragility in my life.  Discussions about racism with most white people are often fraught with tension because most white people haven't engaged in years of sustained study, struggle and focus on the topic of racism so their opinions on this topic are necessarily very limited and uninformed, yet they feel as if they can whitesplain to me about MY experience as a person of color.  They insist on tone policing me and dictating the manner in which we communicate so THEY are comfortable.  Again, it's all about their inability to bear witness to the pain of racism on people of color, and the pain THEY'VE caused on people of color.  It's insulting as hell and frankly I'm no longer going to engage with these people about race/racism because I really don't need that kind of stress and bullshit in my life. I'm not here to educate them--they can educate themselves, just as other woke white people have educated themselves--shout out to Robin DiAngelo, Terri Kempton, Layla Tromble and all others who have done and are still doing the work.

So here's what happened.  I was going to a salon in Normandy Park called Mia Bella Salon.  I liked them, thought the owner, Laura, was nice, and I thought she did a good job.  Never got any kind of bad vibe from her.  We became Facebook friends.  I'd been going for about a year.  Then just last weekend I called to make an appointment for a color.  Left a message on a Friday morning.  No response.  Weird, because typically she responds pretty immediately.  Called again in the afternoon.  Again no answer.  Called Saturday morning.  No answer.  Now I'm really thinking something is going on.  In fact, I began to suspect she was avoiding me and I actually considered calling from my daughter's cell phone to see if she'd pick up, but decided against it.

I looked at her Facebook profile and saw that she'd posted something on Friday afternoon.  Something to the effect of "Yes, I'm a kind person, but watch out if you cross the line too many times."  Didn't think much of it at the time, but after I thought about it and started exploring her Facebook profile a bit more, that message was definitely a passive aggressive post meant for me.

It's no secret I can't stand Donald Trump--I think he is one of the most dangerous people on the planet right now.  I also have made no bones about the fact that I feel the people that voted for him were complicit in what has happened to our country because they KNEW the type of person he was--a racist, sexist, xenophobic liar, yet they voted for him anyway.

I also strongly believe that our country was founded upon white supremacy--not simply the KKK, Aryan Nations, violent type of white supremacy, but the belief that white people are superior, that whiteness is valued over anything else, and that has been borne out in our laws over our entire history--to wit, slavery, the Chinese Exclusion Act, Japanese Internment Camps, Jim Crow Laws, the War on Drugs, the separation of Hispanic children from their parents at the border, the ban on travel from certain Muslim countries.

And since I've been posting about my feelings regarding these issues, apparently that triggered Laura's white fragility because she refused to return my phone calls. She follows conservative people who align themselves with Trump, and conservative news outlets who are anti-liberal.

So a couple of things:  If you're outspoken about your views, like I am, be prepared to be discriminated against by conservative Christian Trump supporters.  White fragility is alive and well. And don't patronize Mia Bella Salon.

I don't know this country anymore.

I started this blog years ago in the midst of Hurricane Katrina.  I was so upset about what was happening and I had to get my anger out somewhere, so I started writing about it.  My first post was on September 2, 2005.  Almost 13 years of posting--mostly about racial issues.  NEVER would I have thought it would have gotten as bad as this.  I thought Bush was bad, but compared to who is in the White House now, Bush looks exemplary, and I never thought I would say that.

I'm probably going to ramble but I have so many thoughts about what got us to this place.  For one, the racism and white supremacy that America has been built upon has always been there. Some white people want to say, "But oh, it's gotten sooo much better."  Bullshit.  Maybe for those of you who never have to fucking deal with it.  I am SICK of people saying "I don't see color."  Do you know how IGNORANT you sound?  I am SICK of people saying they are NOT racist, yet they DON'T SPEAK UP when their in-laws say racist shit.  If you don't speak up EVERY SINGLE TIME, then you are a coward who is complicit in furthering white supremacy.  You are putting your comfort and your relationships with white people ahead of the humanity of people of color by allowing them to put down people of color and not saying anything.  You are complicit in maintaining the status quo.

I don't understand people of color who voted for Donald Trump.  Is that some kind of internalized racism?  I don't understand white people who have people of color in their family who voted for Donald Trump.  Donald Trump is a straight up racist.  If you voted for Donald Trump, you knew he was a racist, therefore you supported his racism, which makes you a racist.  It's as simple as that.  If you hated Hillary Clinton, I don't care, but you didn't have to vote for a racist, sexist, misogynistic, lying, xenophobic bigot like Trump.  You knew what he was and voted for him anyway.  So that makes you responsible for the mess we're in now.

Trump will be forever defined as the one (I will NEVER refer to him as the POTUS) who traumatized infants and children and used them as pawns.  He will NEVER live this down.  And everyone around him who defends this will also pay the price. Some say that this time he crossed the line.  I believe he crossed the line a long time ago with his ridiculous birtherism accusations.  Yet the uneducated deplorables of this country felt he represented them (he actually doesn't give a flying fuck about them--he just likes the adulation, but they don't know any better).

Now the racists and bigots have come out from under their rocks and everyday you read about a person of color being harassed by some white loser who is unhinged.  It's already happened to me four times.  These people blame their lack of success on people of color, they're so threatened by successful people of color, they hate immigrants, they say immigrants are taking their jobs--okay, then if you're not willing to educate yourself, then go work in the fields, clean hotel rooms, but oh no, you're too good for that, huh?  These losers make me sick.  It's not surprising that most of the white college educated people voted for Clinton.

And for those of you who live in oblivion, happily living your lives, not worried about anything because you think it doesn't affect you, well, I hope that one day someone doesn't take away your rights.  You're living in a bubble, so don't say I didn't warn you if that bubble is popped some day.  I guess ignorance is bliss.