First of all, if you don't know what white fragility is, here is a short lesson. Please watch, otherwise, you really won't understand this blog post.
I have spoken for many years about how I've encountered white fragility in my life. Discussions about racism with most white people are often fraught with tension because most white people haven't engaged in years of sustained study, struggle and focus on the topic of racism so their opinions on this topic are necessarily very limited and uninformed, yet they feel as if they can whitesplain to me about MY experience as a person of color. They insist on tone policing me and dictating the manner in which we communicate so THEY are comfortable. Again, it's all about their inability to bear witness to the pain of racism on people of color, and the pain THEY'VE caused on people of color. It's insulting as hell and frankly I'm no longer going to engage with these people about race/racism because I really don't need that kind of stress and bullshit in my life. I'm not here to educate them--they can educate themselves, just as other woke white people have educated themselves--shout out to Robin DiAngelo, Terri Kempton, Layla Tromble and all others who have done and are still doing the work.
So here's what happened. I was going to a salon in Normandy Park called Mia Bella Salon. I liked them, thought the owner, Laura, was nice, and I thought she did a good job. Never got any kind of bad vibe from her. We became Facebook friends. I'd been going for about a year. Then just last weekend I called to make an appointment for a color. Left a message on a Friday morning. No response. Weird, because typically she responds pretty immediately. Called again in the afternoon. Again no answer. Called Saturday morning. No answer. Now I'm really thinking something is going on. In fact, I began to suspect she was avoiding me and I actually considered calling from my daughter's cell phone to see if she'd pick up, but decided against it.
I looked at her Facebook profile and saw that she'd posted something on Friday afternoon. Something to the effect of "Yes, I'm a kind person, but watch out if you cross the line too many times." Didn't think much of it at the time, but after I thought about it and started exploring her Facebook profile a bit more, that message was definitely a passive aggressive post meant for me.
It's no secret I can't stand Donald Trump--I think he is one of the most dangerous people on the planet right now. I also have made no bones about the fact that I feel the people that voted for him were complicit in what has happened to our country because they KNEW the type of person he was--a racist, sexist, xenophobic liar, yet they voted for him anyway.
I also strongly believe that our country was founded upon white supremacy--not simply the KKK, Aryan Nations, violent type of white supremacy, but the belief that white people are superior, that whiteness is valued over anything else, and that has been borne out in our laws over our entire history--to wit, slavery, the Chinese Exclusion Act, Japanese Internment Camps, Jim Crow Laws, the War on Drugs, the separation of Hispanic children from their parents at the border, the ban on travel from certain Muslim countries.
And since I've been posting about my feelings regarding these issues, apparently that triggered Laura's white fragility because she refused to return my phone calls. She follows conservative people who align themselves with Trump, and conservative news outlets who are anti-liberal.
So a couple of things: If you're outspoken about your views, like I am, be prepared to be discriminated against by conservative Christian Trump supporters. White fragility is alive and well. And don't patronize Mia Bella Salon.
